Back Porch Sightings

It's so much fun living around here. You really never know what might happen when you walk out your back door. I haven't kept a complete list but up till this morning I've stepped to find the ones you would expect; raccoons, possums, snakes, birds and even a fox once or twice, but the ones that tend to get your attention are the ones you don't expect. I know I've talked about the Bears that tend to walk around the yard, but recently we have had a couple odd ones. A few weeks back I stepped outside to work on the porch, looked up and a 400lb pig was taking a stroll from next door to come over and play in the mud. It was the neighbors, and we had fun herding it back to the pin, and even more fun a few hours later when it escaped again! LOL

This morning I stepped outside and was greeted by a donkey. Poor Charlie (my dog) has never seen a donkey so as soon as he got a whiff of him he chased him around the yard, then about 6 min later the donkey was chasing him around the yard. It was quite funny. First thing I did was walk next door and ask if they had a donkey. I got a puzzled no, but then I noticed someone riding up the road on a 4 wheeler and me with a rope in hand (like that was going to help) I flagged him over and asked if he was looking for a lost donkey. He was and he herded him up and took him home and all is well. :)

I just love it around here. Figured I'd share the experience hehe. Hope everyone has a fantastic day and a great weekend. Enjoy, have fun!

The Epidural

Let's begin with a quick brief history. Just about everyday for lunch around 1ish, I leave the office and head into the house to have a nice lunch with the wife and during this 30min to hour time together we usually catch up on some tv shows that we enjoy watching. Since we are caught up on most the shows that we do like, I figured we could take this time to check out a new show that's been out there called "Worst Week". It sounded kinda funny and figured maybe this would be a good change up from the other shows we watch. The title of the most recently aired episode was called "The Epidural". From this one episode it seems to based on this one particular guys unfortunate luck in life and the chain of events that seem to follow. Often with detrimental effects on his well being. During this particular episode he ends up getting beat up by a mail lady, taken to a hospital, given an epidural for his broken tail bone inflicted by the mail lady. During the same time his wife is in labor at a different hospital about to give birth. In his haste to make it to the other hospital he ignores the nurses warning that the effects of the epidural will take about 15min. However, before this time frame is reached he manages to make it out of the hospital, hail a taxi and get within 3 blocks of the correct hospital. At witch point they encounter heavy traffic (of course) and he must exit the taxi and walk the rest of the way. This was pretty funny, because by this time the epidural has taken full effect numbing his lower extremities. Something he has completely forgot about. As he attempts to exit the cab he immediately falls to the ground due to the lack of feeling in his legs.. My wife and I laughed out loud at this together. Now I told you that to reveal just how fun our family can be. Tonight, I came in from work, grabbed the remote and sat down while Amy was over browsing the net. I'm not quite sure how long she had been there, but after about 20min she went to get up to start dinner. She was sitting in the chase lounge and since it practically swallows her up it takes a second or two for her to crawl out of it and almost exactly like the show we had watched earlier as she begins to stand up and walk she immediately does a face plant into the floor. Apparently, due to her vertically challenged legs, and the way the chase elevates her legs while she is sunk in, her legs fell asleep on her. I know, I really should have gotten up and attempted to help her up.. but it was too difficult to move while laughing my ass off. Just so you know she is ok, and she was laughing her ass off too ;) We have such a great time around here.

Just thought I'd share a little piece of what happen on practically a daily bases. I'm shocked we have not needed more medical attention yet.....

Attack in the Attic...

Sometimes idea's for blogs come in spurts I suppose, but figured I would tell a little story that happen recently. Especially, since now all visible indications that it really happen are now healed :) Since the closing of the shop my "honey do" list has increased dramatically. Actually, this is a good thing. There are lots of stuff I've been wanting to get accomplished around the house, but just have not had the time to get to them. One example was re-arranging the living room and finally getting the speakers to the surround sound hooked up properly. This involved running some speaker wire up in the walls and in the attic. This was a fairly easy task, especially since our attic above the living room is huge. Making it much easier to walk around pulling cable. Well, by the time we had everything straight in the living room it was around 7ish or 8ish at night. The wife being the very enlightened observer told me when I started to head up into the attic to run the wires, "Hey, isn't it going to be too dark to run cables up there?" to witch I responded with "Honey, It's ALWAYS dark in the attic..." ;) Later this would prove more that I should not speak until after a task accomplished. Everything was actually going very smoothly, wires were rather easy to get to, I was getting quite comfortable walking around and dodging the rafters. After spending about 30 min in a sitting position yelling back and forth with Amy with terms coming from her like "Pull it back", and me asking if that was enough.... (yea I know almost worth a blog itself lol) I stood up for a little break leaning against one of the trusses. After stretching a bit, and hearing a few bones crack, and smacking the flash light because it had flickered off again. I quickly, and I mean very quickly turned to my right just like one would do when they were heading through an open door. Forgetting that at my current elevation there was a cross-brace attached between the 2 rafters I was attempting to walk through at exactly the same height as the top of my cheek bone. As much as I would love to be able to actually walk through wood, the old law of physics in addition to Newtons 3rd law of motion would prove to be extremely painful. Very similar to the results of a baseball bat hitting the grand slam. I don't recall if it was the proximity of the pain to my head, or just the shear fact that for about 10 seconds I couldn't think straight, but I found myself crouched over right hand on a rafter, yelling various superlatives as if time would somehow reverse itself so that I might properly duck before beating myself up. Fortunately, these types of incidents are rare (for me), however me swearing like a sailor for unknown reasons is fairly common.. So after a few min I hear Amy ask: "Everything Alright?" and I say sure, except for feeling like my head just got hit with a 2x4. She laughed a bit thinking I was kidding around witch I normally do.. Then once I came down as she was painting the bathroom I go in to make sure my eye ball is still contained within it's socket. As I turn the corner and look into the mirror I some how managed to cut the top layer of skin on the bottom part of my right eye socket with the FLAT part of the 2x4. Due to the impact I had a ever so slight mini black eye for about a week. Good thing I'm a quick healer ;)

What did I learn from this?

• 1) Be careful when picking on the wife, she has voodoo black magic!! lol
  
• 2) Never get comfortable walking around the attic
  
• 3) Avoid all facial contact with 2x4's (always)
  

Charlie

We have once again taken the plunge and fell victim to the cute and cuddly puppy that is now called Charlie. You may recall from a previous blog entry that I had talked about Nitro being the newest member of the family... He has since vanished into thin air. We have no idea where he went or what happened to him, but since we just couldn't resist the chance to have a wonderful pup in our family for very long... We have now adopted this fine specimen of the canine family. He is a lab / rotty mix, and has a simply excellent kind nature. At almost 3 months old, so far he has been a great addition to the family... of course there is that quite annoying thing he does at 6am every single morning, even on the days you might want to sleep in.. but I think for the most part he is going to be a great dog. So does Amy, who by the way chose the name "Charlie b. Barkin" a name that fits him to a tee. I told her that he kinda reminds me of Chris Farly in the movie "Beverly Hills Ninja". Without further adieu, a few pics to oooh and aaahhh over.

Poker Table #3

If I'm allowed to say this, I think this was my best poker table yet! I had decided I wanted something that was unusual and different... Something perfect for home games, but unique enough to call my own. So, I came up with attempting an Octagon shape, but I was unable to find one that had the excellent soft cushions that I liked on the oval tables. The final outcome was difficult, but I think it worked out perfectly! I ended up with a table for 8 that was big enough to fit 8 people very comfortably, with nice soft cushions. The most tedious part was putting together the 8 individual cushions. Unfortunately before the table was even complete someone wanted to buy it.. But for the record here is a pic of the unfinished table with a full 8 people on it


and the Final Product..



Man, I really miss that table....

Tail of the Rubber Pup

This past Wednesday while working in the shed, I heard the our dog Zoey yelping like crazy. I walked outside to find Levi getting out of his truck looking very concerned. Then the dog limped over to the shed, crawled underneath it and remained there for the next 30 min. Levi had explained that he did see the dog and was driving slow in order to avoid her, but that he knew for sure that he had run her over. My first though of course was that this was it for the poor neurotic ankle biter, and that she would soon be entering into eternal sleep. I contacted the vet in Crafordville and inquired about euthanization preparing for the worst. Before I left for the vet I decided it would be a good idea to let little bobby know what was going on:

Me: Son, I have to take Zoey to the vet because she was run over by a truck today
Bobby: Is she going to be ok?
Me: I'm not sure, that's why I'm taking her to the vet. I just wanted to let you know that she might not make it home.
Bobby: She looks ok..
Me: Yes, she does.. But if her injuries are really bad we may have to put her to sleep.
Bobby: For how long?
Me: Permanently.
Bobby: YOUR GOING TO JUST KILL HER?
Me: Well son, if her injuries insider her are really bad it would be better. We won't know until the vet checks her out. I just wanted you to be aware of what was going on and that she might not be coming back.
Bobby: Ok, I understand. She's going to be fine though.
Me: Ok. I'm off to the vet then..

After the physical exam ($30) the veterinarian stated she was unable to tell if anything was broken, but that it appeared there was not any internal bleeding. X-rays would be another $100. After the x-rays she found that her pelvis was broken, but not much out of alignment and he leg was broken but not out of place at all. The Vet had already mentioned that if her hip was broken there was not much we could do, but that it was a good sign that Zoey was active and moving around.

So, $130 later.... It seems that not only is our Neurotic Ankle Biter a mean little dog, she is also made of rubber. I guess this is the type of dog that simply refuses to be killed :)

Slithering Encounter

This is one of the reasons I love this place. This is definitely not the first encounter, just the first one since I started posting to this blog. I have pics of white oak snakes resting intertwined in our 4 wheelers, as well as one that wanted to nap under the car on the muffler. Eventually, I'll probably post the Bear pic's that we have as well. But figured this would be a good start.



And yes, it was ready to strike. In fact right after snapping the picture it struck at our dog.

If you are curious, the snake was unharmed. I brought the dog inside and escorted the snake back into the wooded area of the property. Against the wife's wishes.. lol

Snakes are just so damn cool.

YADBGAG #1

The above title stands for : "Yet Another Difference Between Girls And Guys"

Lavatory Activities when doing #1:

First for the Girl:
A girl will quietly enters the bathroom, possibly even turning on a fan or something to make more noise because she doesn't want anyone to hear her. When finished she will wipe, but will wipe in such a way that it's a one way trip.. meaning no up and down motion... its one way and let go as soon as possible cause this is gross! Now that she is yucked out, she will flush hoping that no one hears the toilet.. while toilet is flushing is when she gets re-dressed then she washes her hands with both water AND soap. Dries hands and TADA elegant and clean. As she exits the bathroom, fan goes off, light off. Done. PS. If this is Public location, addition step includes hovering... A task that can only be thought of by a woman, and is not even known to most men. I would attempt to enlighten you on this, but I'm pretty sure you can picture it... LOL

Now for the Guy:
Enters the bathroom possibly while finishing a conversation with someone in the other room. No need to worry about a fan or even a light for that matter, it's not going to take that long. Stand in front of the toilet usually using the knee or shin to make sure we aren't too close. At this point is when the difficult decision comes, lift lid or practice aim? This is typically a 70/30 choice... 70% of the time we practice aim, 30% we will lift lid. While peeing, make circles in the toilet because this is taken longer than we had thought and there are many other things we would rather be doing. Next, flush toilet because we find it fun to try "race" with the toilet to see who will finish first, this is usually when the fart gets released for that extra boost! Next, shake to make sure most of the liquid has made it, occasionally this is where the uncontrollable shoulder shake happens. Finally, flush again because the toilet won the race and deserves a victory lap. Next steps may vary depending on situations. If we are alone or with other guys, close shop and continue doing what ever we were before... If drips actually hit our hands, then wash but just with some water and dry on whatever is handy in following order: towel, dirty clothes, jeans, shirt, or shake hands vigorously. If girl is in another room, run water to give her the impression that we are clean.


This is the first post in a series of post that might include more of the differences between men and women :)

Cat's in the Cradle?

The other night as we were preparing for bed time... We walked into our bedrooms to find our wonderful kitty cat lying comfortably...

Comfortable there Cozmo?

Props for Originality!

I must give my wife big props for this one. Being a smoker, I have for quite some time heard every reason in the book. Everything from each cigarette takes 1 day off your life, to the descriptive black chunks of tar that are building up in my lungs, to the awful smell it produces on my clothing, and that I'm killing the ones I love with second hand smoke... the list goes on... But never has a phrase caught my attention as what I heard this past weekend.

I woke up the other morning and began my morning ritual of brushing teeth, taking a shower, ect.. Once dressed and ready for the day I moseyed on into the kitchen for a glass of sweet tea. It was an excellent morning, Not too cold outside, got plenty of sleep, I was feeling wonderful. Then I began to step outside to enjoy the freshness of the outdoors... and of course to have my morning smoke. Just prior to stepping outside the wife and i had said our good mornings and were just chatting about typical stuff... She looked up at me as I started to head for the door, and just as I opened the door to let out the dog she began with "Baby, What would it take to get you to quit smoking, Cause Ya know...... I really like the way you smell when you get out of the shower, so fresh, and clean; (insert momentary dramatic pause here while she puts her thoughts in order) But when you smoke did you know that your not very edible." Yup, it took me a few moments to process that as well... lol

Now I have been accused of many things, but never did I once consider the palatableness of myself very important, of course I also never realized the carnivorous nature in my wife! (ok, so maybe i might have had a clue about that one) but with this new knowledge, and after hearing the rather "tasteful" concerns of my wife, I've decided that it might be time to start seriously considering the edibleness of myself. Therefore from this day hence I shall strive to become smoke free in order to attain that pinnacle of delectable pabulum she so desires. On that note I bid thee a "Scrumptious" afternoon.