Friday Night Program Source Code

#include wife;
#include friends;

Myself me = new Myself();

for(me.drink;me.drunk <> me.passedout;me.drink++){
if(me.state == "fun" || me.state == "sober"){
me.drink += me.beer;
}else if(me.state != "fun" && me.drunk <> me.buzzed{
me.coke += 1;
}else{
me.drink += me.beer;
}
}

This is the initial beta version of course... Will need tweaking as the evening begins, but this should be a good start lol...

As I mature

Got this in an email the other day, thought it was funny and figured I'd post it up ;)

Lazy Man's Truck Loader..

This is what happens when your wife decides she wants something that's too heavy for you to lift by yourself and you have to drive out of town to pick it up.

Ingredients:
1 Truck (with large dent in the side)
1 Wench (harbor freight 49.99)
1 2x6 (scrap)
2 3 foot chains (about 10 bucks)
and a wife that really wants something (priceless??)

Here is the view from the back of the truck.















And from the side...


I also built a custom "cart" to load items onto that just does fit into the bed. It still has the oven on it, but I'll try to upload a pic the next time we go down to the shop.

You Grew Up In The 80's If....

I'm reposting this from You Know You Grew Up In The 80's If...

It's just so damn funny....
-----------------------------------------------------------

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's If...

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE".

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair " ...and can do the "Carlton".

4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

7. "WOAH " comes from Joey on Blossom.

8. Two words: Hammer Pants.

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock ".

10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and "spokey-dokes" or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales ". (Woo ooh!)

12. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

13. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen... and still know the turtles names.

15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

17. You played the game "MASH ". (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.

19. L.A. Gear... need I say more.

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM " in Kindergarten. (She's truly outrageous)

21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing " and all the Ramona books.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF".

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us... head-to-toe)

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail Kids in the schoolyard.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

29. You still get the urge to say "NOT " after every sentence.

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hookup.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like #24, probably in neon colors, too)

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

42. You remember Popples.

43. "Don't worry, be happy"

44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.

45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...getting yelled at by "younger hip" members of the family)

46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK "

47. You remember boom boxes. and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.

48. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.

49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"

50. You remember watching "Rainbow Bright" and "My Little Pony Tales "

51. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

53. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool... and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB".

54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell ", the ORIGINAL class.

55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

56. You just sang those words to yourself.

57.You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

58. Homemade Levi shorts. (the shorter the better)

59. You remember when mullets were cool!

60. You had a mullet!

61. You still sing "We are the World"

62. You tight rolled your jeans.

63. You owned a bannana clip.

64. You remember "Where's the Beef?"

65. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"

66. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.

67. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head,aren't you!

YADBGAG #1

The above title stands for : "Yet Another Difference Between Girls And Guys"

Lavatory Activities when doing #1:

First for the Girl:
A girl will quietly enters the bathroom, possibly even turning on a fan or something to make more noise because she doesn't want anyone to hear her. When finished she will wipe, but will wipe in such a way that it's a one way trip.. meaning no up and down motion... its one way and let go as soon as possible cause this is gross! Now that she is yucked out, she will flush hoping that no one hears the toilet.. while toilet is flushing is when she gets re-dressed then she washes her hands with both water AND soap. Dries hands and TADA elegant and clean. As she exits the bathroom, fan goes off, light off. Done. PS. If this is Public location, addition step includes hovering... A task that can only be thought of by a woman, and is not even known to most men. I would attempt to enlighten you on this, but I'm pretty sure you can picture it... LOL

Now for the Guy:
Enters the bathroom possibly while finishing a conversation with someone in the other room. No need to worry about a fan or even a light for that matter, it's not going to take that long. Stand in front of the toilet usually using the knee or shin to make sure we aren't too close. At this point is when the difficult decision comes, lift lid or practice aim? This is typically a 70/30 choice... 70% of the time we practice aim, 30% we will lift lid. While peeing, make circles in the toilet because this is taken longer than we had thought and there are many other things we would rather be doing. Next, flush toilet because we find it fun to try "race" with the toilet to see who will finish first, this is usually when the fart gets released for that extra boost! Next, shake to make sure most of the liquid has made it, occasionally this is where the uncontrollable shoulder shake happens. Finally, flush again because the toilet won the race and deserves a victory lap. Next steps may vary depending on situations. If we are alone or with other guys, close shop and continue doing what ever we were before... If drips actually hit our hands, then wash but just with some water and dry on whatever is handy in following order: towel, dirty clothes, jeans, shirt, or shake hands vigorously. If girl is in another room, run water to give her the impression that we are clean.


This is the first post in a series of post that might include more of the differences between men and women :)